The Princess’ Hats

The Princess of Wales has beautiful hats
Of taffeta, satin and felt,
She wears them for breakfast and luncheon and tea
With a smile which makes every heart melt.

Upstairs in the palace, there’s a room full of hats
With a Beefeater guarding the door.
There are boxes on shelves, in cupboards and nooks,
With the empties piled high on the floor.

Each box has a label with a royal coat of arms
And titles like “Windsor” or “Yacht”.
There’s one inscribed “Ascot”, another “High Tea”
Or “Shooting (Balmoral in Scot.)!”

There are hats for all seasons and Horse Guards Parade,
With feathers of red, white and blue,
There are hats in pale pink with trimmings of mink
And boaters for weeks in Cowes, too.

Now it happened one day when the Prince was away
And the Princess was due at the Tower,
She couldn’t decide what colour to wear
Though she gazed in the glass by the hour.

She turned out the boxes and tried on each one
And threw them aside on the floor,
Only then did she spy the black velvet hat
On the Beefeater guarding the door.

“That’s the one for today” was all she could say,
“May I wear it? Oh, please do agree!”
“I’m late as it is and the Queen won’t be pleased
If I’m hatless at afternoon tea.”

All bashful and red, the Beefeater said:
“To be hatless was never a sin,
But you’re welcome to try, my dear Princess Di,
For I see the di-lemma you’re in.”

She tried on the hat in front of the glass
And it suited her looks to a T.
“Oh, thank you!” she said, as she kissed his bald head,
And rushed down the stairs three by three.

All the way through the City, her hat drew applause,
Till at last she arrived at the Tower.
There, sweet and demure, she inspected the guards
Who stand at the gate by the hour.

The Beefeaters cheered, threw their hats in the air,
There were bravoes, gun salvoes and hails.
What a wonderful hat she is wearing today!
Three cheers for the Princess of Wales!!!

Young heifer

There was a young heifer from Sark
Who loved to stay out after dark.
She lived life to the full
Till she met her first bull
Who chased her all over the park!

The Year of the Jersey 2001

Deep in the Forest

Deep in the forest there’s a dragon in the bracken,
Deep in the forest there’s an owl in a tree,
Deep in the forest there’s a witch in a cavern,
Deep in the forest there’s also little me.

I am frightened of the dragon which lives in the bracken,
I am frightened of the owl which sits in the tree,
I am frightened of the witch who lives in the cavern
But none of them is frightened of poor little me.

Deep in the hollow there’s a camp of Red Indians,
Dancing around their campfire as wild as wild can be;
I wish that I had feathers and could live inside a wigwam,
But what would all the Indian braves think of little me?

Deep in the bushes at the bottom of the garden,
There’s a tiger living in his den behind the apple tree,
And when I go to fetch my ball or dig for hidden treasure,
I feel that through the branches the tiger’s watching me.

Down by the river there’s a scarecrow in a meadow
Who chases all the birds away – he also frightens me,
I wonder why he stands so still on one leg in the moonlight,
When everyone is safe at home in bed like sleepy me.

I am frightened of the scarecrow who stands in the meadow,
I am frightened of the tiger behind the apple tree,
I am frightened of the Indian braves dancing round their campfire,
But none of them is frightened of poor little me!